My sister posted this quote on Facebook today and I just loved it. Not because I practice this in my life but because I usually don’t. But I want to.
Having children makes me “change focused” already (always wanting to make them better little people), and then you add my natural bent towards attempting to control people and things around me and this quote feels both incredibly challenging and incredibly freeing.
What if I could really detach and stop worrying about the people around me?
That would feel, well, amazing.
An important question to ask those of us who graduated from The School Of Changing Others is why do we feel the need to fix people?
It possibly boils down to two main reasons:
- FEAR of someone making us unhappy by their actions or behaviors
- EXPECTATIONS of who someone should be based on my terms (I originally wrote “unrealistic” expectations, but I think its expectations. Period.)
Fears and expectations cause such unnecessary burdens on our hearts and minds.
So how do we let go? How do we stop worrying and fretting and playing scenarios in our head of how things would be different if that person in our life could just evolve into the person we expect and want them to be?
For me, it requires something extremely difficult and extremely easy all at the same time:
Trusting God with the people I love, their life, their journey, His timing.
I find when I bring my concerns to Him, the Wise Counselor, He calms my spirit, helps me to open my gripping fingers around the issue. He often shuts my mouth when I am about to barrel ahead with words that just seem so important to say.
But those who trust in idols, who say to images, ‘You are our gods,’ will be turned back in utter shame. Isaiah 42:7
I am convinced that I am my own idol sometimes. I trust in myself, in my feelings and my prideful and self-righteous convictions. I can see it so clearly in others, when they judge while clearly having their own “stuff” to work on, but the ability to see it in myself is like a shadow that shifts and ducks.
If I can set aside myself enough to make room for God, well, that is the magic–to truly believe that He is in control so I don’t have to be. It is the place where I stop worrying and start respecting those I love by letting them journey and learn and grow on their own terms.
Prayer for Letting Go:
God, I pray that you will help me trust you more, especially with my children as they grow up and become the people with the story you have planned for them. Help me to trust you with my marriage and my friendships and those I work with. I pray that I can live out this scripture well:
Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Psalm 62:8
Blessings to you today!
P.S. Would you consider sharing this post? Thank you!
Also…I created these prayer journals for the Fall. I will be creating a new version for each season of the year. If you are like me and need some structure during your prayer time to keep you focused, you might love one of these. They are a perfect size, to sit on your nightstand, on the table by your favorite chair in the morning, or to drop in your purse. $15, including shipping. Just click here to purchase now!